My Sinuses

My nasal passages have been conspiring against me for years. What they have against me, I do not know. There must have been some offensive action I committed in my late 20s that turned my sinuses against me. Now, the slightest turn in the weather weighs on my head like a 30 pound dumbbell. My passages so clogged and congested that I’m left a dizzy mess.

This week, what started as my allergies just tickling the back of my throat evolved into a nasty head and chest cold. Did not take the Alleve D in time. Alleve D is a miracle drug that halts the congestion at the first sign, but you have to take it right away. (And another thing – those damn meth heads have made buying decongestants such a task. What up with that?) I started the lovely Alleve D too late, and my sinuses got me.

Work was a fog. Being the super important corporate kingpin I am – I could not take a day off. I could leave early. Damn early. Congestion just made my head so heavy thinking was impossible. When the cough in my chest began to disrupt critical business decisions, I knew it was time to shut my computer and go home.

This was by no means a serious sinus attack…I’ve been clobbered by congestion. Pain so great and head so stuffed I’m dizzy and nauseous. So bad once that I ended up in the emergency room for excessive – hate to be gross – vomiting. The slightest movement would push my balance off course and head me running to the latrine. Then very act of running to the bathroom would set off another vomitous explosion. It sucked.

Luckily, I moved into an apartment with wood floors – opposed to wall-to-wall carpeting that harbored those nasty allergens that set my sinuses off. Then there was the procedure – it involved a long needle, cortisone and my nose. It was gross, painful and it worked. Since then, my sinuses have acted up but have not knocked me out.

So this week I have to contend with feeling kind of eh, a distant notion that something just ain’t right. My chest is phlegmy and my head is hazy—the other day at the gas station, I forgot to put the car in park and started to roll away. I take some more Alleve D, cleanse my sinuses (won’t get into that) and view the world through the white gauze of congestion until my nasal passage have drained.

Ah, my sinuses.