Charka Blue!

So, I was down at Long Beach Island on vaction this summer. For fun I went to a psychic. Well, I knew she was a off when she said: A -- My middle name is after mygrandmother or godmother (no -- a nun), and B -- I am committed to one man,but in love with another (No and No).

Then she held my hands and was saying over and over again, "No -- this is all wrong. Have you had a cleansing before?"

Me: "My teeth? Yeah, last month."

Her:"No... a cleansing..."

Me: "Oh, yeah. Well, I eat a lot of fruit and fiber, so that's never been aproblem."

Her: "No, your chakras. I feel like you started a cleansing, but never finished. Your head chakra is open, which can let in some negative energy."

Me: "Nope, only cleansing has been my teeth and bowels."

Her: "Noooo, but your chakras are no good. Karmically, you are off. Were you supposed to be a twin?"

Me: "Are you high?"

Her: "Your chakras have been unaligned since birth. Your parents did not do right by you, karmically."

Me: "Whach you say about my mamma?!?!?!?!?!?"

Her: "I think I should do a cleansing now, finish what was started. You have 7 chakras .. . .$150 a chakra . .. that's only $1,050. A small pricefor to get your life in order."

Me: "Order!?!?!?!? Order this lady!!!!!"

Her: "When are you going to do something for yourself."

Me: "For $1,050, that cleansing better be on a beach in Maui and involvef ruity drinks and hot men!"

Her" "Well, let me do at least your pelvic chakra -- where all your problems are."

Me: "Will it get me laid?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Here's my credit card."